Blissful Blackness
by Adie21
Summary: Does a love formed inside the blackness of loneliness taste of ash or rose petals? Ichigo Kurosaki finds he doesn't particularly care either way. Ichihime
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! Welcome to my second post on fanfiction! I'm not entirely sure where this is going to go, or even much about where this came from at all, but I will be letting this story form itself on its own and I hope someone out there can enjoy my ramblings of fandom**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters**

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I wasn't sure when it had begun.

People often told me I was oblivious to the feelings of others, that someone could explain their emotions in grave detail and yet I would still misunderstand.

Aloofness or just an overwhelming indifference, no one could be sure.

I had never really thought too much about it, though I'm sure I should have. Perhaps if I had, I would have noticed long ago that I was not just completely ignorant to others feelings but also to my own.

It had been nothing at first. Embers of a hollow acquaintance, based on a shared friend. Looking back I can't pinpoint when it had formed its own foundation. When it had branched into its own blosseming bud.

What exactly had brought me over that edge of friendship and into this crumbling ground of self-doubt and fluttering nerves?

Was it a smile, or a glance. Was it one day nothing and then everything the next?

I despised the unknown. Feared it even a little more than I hated it. And yet the unknown was the only thing I knew for certain.

For I did not know when I fell in love with Orihime Inoue. Could not name the day or the look or the moment. One day I glanced away from the black board, eyes finding the back of her head without hesitation, and realized they had done just that 12 times within the hour. Twice that the day before, and would no doubt exceed that before the day was done.

I had accepted it easily. Had stepped out into this unstable way of being with both eyes open and a mind knowing exactly what it was doing. The feeling had been fully formed before I'd acknowledged its existence and it had planted itself deep inside me long before that day.

It was dark on this plane within myself. And I realized instantly that it was because I was standing alone for the first time since meeting her. Alone in my feelings and alone in my willingness to swallow them whole. I could see her radiant light through the cracks of the blackness, streaming to me in the form of bubbled laughter and good morning greetings yelled from across crowded courtyards.

And if I had to exchange the sun for that smile? For those stories and those eyes?

Then find me in the darkness, smiling.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Wow is thank you everyone who reviewed and followed this story! I wasn't expecting much of a reaction at all and I'm happy to have been surprised**

 **For those of you that already know of my writing style, this story is going to be drastically different because well... it's just such a different kind of story. I hope you can still enjoy it!**

 **thank you—**

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School had always been difficult to maneuver. Too many eyes that could see right through someone. And so I'd established some ground rules for myself.

Never greet Orihime first and be careful how enthusiastically.

Keep my eyes on the board at all costs during lectures.

And do not look down at the girls during lunch.

Simple rules, one would think. And yet...

"Good morning, Kurosaki-kun!"

I turned, peering over the heads of countless classmates, and saw a delicate arm waving all the way from across the courtyard.

Forcing my face blank, I lifted a hand in greeting, and sent a very vague nod in her direction.

I couldn't see her face, and yet it flashed in my minds eye. She always looked the most beautiful in the morning. Her hair, neat and yet still a little wild, her eyes wide and bright with energy. And the way she always gave me her undivided attention... it made breathing a bit difficult.

By the time I realized that she was making her way over to me through the sea of our classmates, I had already forgotten my most important rule:

Do not smile at her.

It was a rule that I'd needed to add about 2 weeks ago, when Keigo had been complaining in my ear about one thing or another. Orihime hadn't noticed me yet, her focus solely on Tatski and their hushed conversation. I'd been thinking about what words her mouth could be speaking with such quiet caution, since usually she spoke in a tone- and with a volume- that could be heard from clear across a room.

It had seemed an important conversation, heads huddled together and stern looks painted across their faces. Then, suddenly, like a thread being cut, Orihime threw her arms up and threw them around her friend. They both laughed, loudly and pleasantly. But it was Orihimes that drifted to me like bells in the wind.

Keigo had screamed in excitement, thinking my smile had been meant for him and his plans to go somewhere and do something. I, of course, couldn't correct him without running the risk of being discovered. And so I'd been forced to go with him and a pack of girls that went to the all girls school about 2 miles away from us, to sing karaoke.

It was a punishment that made me determined never to break any of my rules again.

But there she was, striding toward me with a smile the size of the sun. I had more control than most men, definitely more than all of our classmates, who all watched her pass with gleeful grins on their lips, but even I found it difficult not to look at her.

How her clothes fit her so well I could only imagine. The other girls had never snagged my attention with their little skirts and tight fitting sweaters, none of them had ever made me wonder how their hair would feel twined around my fingers.

Orihime would probably blush if she knew exactly what I was thinking as she came to a stop before me. Yet, I also knew she would definitely smile through her discomfort and apologize for causing me any kind of trouble. She gave me a small dip of her head, her forever smile still overtaking her face.

"- but I think it is still a waste of our time." Ishida was saying. I'd forgotten he was even there. Forgotten that any of them existed at all.

I struggled to catch up as Orihime shifted her attention to our friends. All of them having never halted their conversation while I'd been intrapped within my stupid feelings.

I suppose, this one time, it was to my advantage that no one really cared for my opinion on most subjects.

"Do you think you'll go this year, Ichigo?" Chad- my supposed best friend- asked. Every pair of eyes snapped to me.

I shoved a clammy hand into my pocket, "What were we talking about?"

Ishida rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Do you ever pay attention to anything?"

Of course I did. I knew exactly how many inches were between me and Orihime, and I also knew that all it would take was a shift in the wind for her hair to brush against my arm.

Instead I said, "Talk about something important and maybe I will."

His chest puffed and I knew he was about to say something incredibly offensive, or maybe just throw right hook. I wished he would. Maybe that would help clear my head. But Chad, always the peace keeper between us, spoke before either could come to be.

"The class trip to the shrine. It's next week."

I hadn't heard a single thing about it. Probably not for lake of people trying to break it into my head.

I never went on school trips, even in junior high. Chad and I had always ditched out and found ourselves in fights with all the other delinquent kids who liked to mouth off down by the canal.

And once high school began, I'd always been too preoccupied with Hollows and Soul Societies wars to ever even be aware of class trips. But this year...

I glanced down to my right, "You going?"

Everyone seemed about as shocked as Orihime herself, who even glanced behind herself quickly. As if I'd care enough to ask anyone else.

"Well," She began, once she recovered. "I wasn't sure. Tatski will be out for competition, and so I figured I'd have no one to really enjoy it with."

Ishida and Chad were silent as I shrugged, "I'll go with you if you want." I'd thought I'd said it casually enough. Friends can go to shrine trips together right? Still, I panicked as her cheeks flamed. "My dad is forcing me to go this year anyway. Something about enjoying what's left of my youth."

It wasn't at all true, but it made her shoulders relax- though only slightly. I didn't let myself feel badly about that.

First bell rang right as Orihime made to answer and I couldn't tell whether that was a good or a bad thing. Either way, I turned on my heel and made my way into the building. I didn't dare turn my head to see if any of them had followed.

Getting caught smiling had been worse enough. I didn't want to imagine what kind of punishment blushing would get me.

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End file.
